Wednesday, May 16, 2012

The first long awaited Mother's Day

I was so thankful to finally get to celebrate Mother's Day as a mom this year. I think a lot about people who have trouble getting pregnant, and my heart mourns with them. I almost feel bad sometimes because I got pregnant two months after Steven and I got married. Some couples go years trying to start a family, but God blessed us with a little one very early on. On the other hand, I know what it means to long to be a mother.

Growing up, my mom used to babysit in our home full time. I was around babies and kids a lot when I was younger, and I liked babies a lot. Once I hit the teen years, the influence of feminism got to me. For some reason, I really started to disklike kids and always thought they were annoying. I used to tell my grandma, "I'm never having kids!" I think she knew I would though. That whole period of my life where I disliked kids is so crazy to me now. I love kids. I light up by the cuteness of what kids say so easily. I am easily amused by their sweetness and innocence. After I became a Christian and learned what the Bible says about biblical womanhood, I felt more of a burden to become a wife and mother. I wanted to have kids someday. I think I confused my poor grandma.

My early and mid twenties were spent praying for a husband, but also praying for children. I so desperately wanted to be a mom, even though I was not yet married. I wanted a family of my own. The past few years it got more difficult as I got older. Many people around me were getting married and having babies. My brother and his wife have two sweet kids and I started to feel left out, not because of anything they did though! Most of my cousins were having kids, and I started to feel socially awkward sometimes. I was getting older, and there was no man in site, let alone children that I could call my own. I would actually get sad walking by the baby department in stores. The burden to be a wife and mother got heavier, and much to my surprise, within two short years, God gave me an amazing husband and an amazing son.

So yes, Steven and I got engaged and married pretty fast. Ironically I used to wrongly mock those people sometimes. But we knew God brought us together, and the decision was not made lightly. We prayed over it and got counsel from good people. And yes, we had a baby pretty early on, but we were thrilled. We did not want to wait to start our family. It sounds like I'm defending how our life turned out, but I just love to sit back and see how God has written and continues to write our life story.

So for my first Mother's Day Steven and I went to dinner on Saturday night while our friends watched John and then on Monday Steven took us to pick strawberries and eat at Huber's Farm. It was a nice family day, and I look forward to many many more of those, and to many more children, Lord willing. I love my family and am so thankful to God for them!

On the wagon going to the strawberry patch. John did not like the hat I had on him.

Me and my sweet boy on Mother's Day 2012.

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